I Was in a Time Warp, but I'm Back. Hey.

I know, I know, I KNOW. Where HAVE I been? What on earth could have been so hugely important that I ignored my blog for (almost) the first half of 2012?

Since when did it become April May already by the way? What in the hell? I swear it was only yesterday when I was snowed in my apartment for three days straight, and now there is this THING in the sky that is called "sunshine" or whatever. I don't even think I have enough SPF to get me to the store at this rate.

But yeah, I know that I've been sorely neglecting this blog. Like, a lot.

I don't even have a great excuse like getting married (achieved that milestone two years ago, BAM!) or having a baby, or traveling the world with unreliable internet for the past five months.

Nay, instead, I've been doing a lot of this life balance sort of stuff, and the olde blog of yore here fell to wayside. As far as life balance goes, I dedicate at least 16 hours of my day to work in some fashion (to include waking up, getting dressed, and commuting) and I'm still not OK with that.

You're laughing on the inside at me, I know. I can tell.

I can feel it in your eyes because they're slightly crinkled from your non-smile that is a smile because you're thinking something about how hard and long you work every day, and you're not complaining one bit.

Oh, and you have a family and a sky high mortgage and a two-hour commute and gas is almost five dollars a gallon, so really, what do I have to complain about with my measly work day? I guess you're right. You are so right.

Is that what you want to read about?

How you're so hard working and right and not the complaining type?

You want to read about that?

Then write your own damn blog, asshole.

Anyway.

This job thing has been going strong for nearly two years straight now, so since this schedule ain't going to budge, I came to the conclusion that I'm the one who needs to get with the program and rearrange my inner feng shui.

I changed my diet a little bit in that I eat more protein, less packaged goods and bread-y products, and more things that are green, and that has had a profound impact on my energy levels.

Like, really. I don't need an IV bag filled with caffeinated fluids to keep me going anymore. I am an effervescent bundle of energy all by myself, and it's pretty amazing. 

(In spite of what you might think, I do NOT NOT NOT NOT eat Paleo, Caveman, or Neolithic (Wo)Man or anything like that. Seriously. If it's not covered in cheese or chocolate, then please leave me alone and keep your almond-flour-coated, cashew-butter-filled, coconut-milk-drenched, WHATEVER shit to yourself.)

I also don't have a computer anymore. This was a tough adjustment at first, but I'm really enjoying it at this point. As someone who was formerly chained to her desk for hours on end, it feels awesome to stretch my limbs and walk my ass out of the building all of the time.

I actually feel like I get more shit done because I don't have e-mails to attend to or PowerPoint presentations to generate. I'm meeting and talking with actual people in the flesh! More often then not, people are just so stunned to see me shadow their doorways that they feel compelled to shoo me the hell out of there, so SHIT IS GETTING DONE!

Maybe my positivity is connected with the warmer weather that is slowly easing its way through the Pacific Northwest.

Maybe it has something to do with the change of work scenery or a better, slightly cleaner diet. (I live, breathe, and die for Double Stuf Oreos SO. BACK. UP.)

But I can tell you right now, it has nothing to do with buying a goddamn house because that shit makes it hard to keep your cool when you're dealing with stupid people who don't have enough fingers to count your interest rate.

My blood pressure has probably never been this high before. Thank you, DHI Mortgage. I'm coming for you.